Are you a survivor?

If something in the documentary felt uncomfortably familiar, it’s worth paying attention to that feeling.

The theological ideas and leadership structures behind the abuse that the survivors featured have experienced are not shrinking in influence. They’re growing. Rapidly. The teachings that enabled what our community members endured – authoritarian pastoral governance with no accountability, the practice of female submission, the theological justification of physical punishment, the silencing of dissent as “rebellion against God” – are now promoted by leaders with direct access to the highest levels of political power. What was once contained within individual churches and denominations is now shaping national policy.

We are not making a partisan argument. We are making an observation: the same theology that harmed us and our families in church is now being applied at scale. And the same resistance to accountability that silenced survivors in their congregations is now operating with the full force of institutional power behind it.

You might be asking why we went to CNN and why we didn’t handle this inside the church – and it’s a good question. We hear it often, and it deserves a direct answer.

We did. We tried every other option first.

If you need help leaving a spiritually or otherwise abusive church community – or if you have left but need support on the other side – click here to go to the contact form and select “Survivor support” from the drop-down menu.

The survivors who shared their stories in this documentary did not wake up one morning and decide to call a news network. They went to their pastors. They went to their elders. They went to denominational leaders. They followed the Matthew 18 process – often more than once. They submitted to counseling, to church discipline proceedings, to every internal mechanism their churches offered. And they were told to be quiet. To submit harder. To pray more. To stop “gossiping.” To lie by their silence, in order to protect the reputation of institutions and leaders claiming the name of Jesus while skinning and eating His flock.

When every internal door has been shut – when the very people entrusted with “handling it inside the church” are the ones enabling the harm – survivors are left with an impossible choice: stay silent and allow the harm to go on unabated, or speak where someone will actually listen.

CNN listened. And when a national platform offered survivors a chance to say publicly what they’d been saying privately for years, many of them felt a responsibility to the people still inside these systems who cannot speak for themselves. This might include you.

This was not a first resort. It was a last one.

If you are still inside an authoritarian/high-control church, are experiencing spiritual, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, and want to get out – or if you have recently left – we can offer support. Deconstruction Doulas is a peer-support community for survivors of spiritual abuse in high-control religious environments. It was founded by Margaret Bronson, a survivor of religious trauma herself, alongside Erin Kelly and David Bronson, Margaret’s husband. Together with a growing team of trained volunteers – most of them survivors – they have helped over 200 families get out of harmful religious environments and/or begin to rebuild their lives on the other side.

The name comes from a simple analogy: a birth doula provides emotional, physical, and social support to someone going through the intense and often painful process of labor. She doesn’t deliver the baby. But she stays present through the pain, provides information and comfort, and makes sure the mother’s voice is heard. A “deconstruction doula” does the same thing for people going through the intense and often painful process of recovering from spiritual abuse.

What we do in practice:

Peer-support cohorts – moderated groups led by trained “doulas” where survivors can speak openly, often for the first time, without fear of judgment or reprisal.
Safety planning and exit support – when someone needs to leave a dangerous situation, we help with logistics: relocations, legal support, connecting to trauma-informed counselors, navigating employment. We have physically helped people move in the middle of the night.
Education and resources – through our blog, Deep Dives, Starter Packs, and FAQ materials, we help survivors understand the dynamics of what they experienced and give them language for it. We also help the public understand how spiritual abuse works and how it connects to the broader pattern of Christian Nationalism.
Free access for anyone who can’t pay – as a matter of policy, we waive all costs for any survivor who cannot afford our services, on their word alone. We are funded by small individual donations, not institutional backers.

Deconstruction Doulas is a three-person operation working toward 501(c)(3) nonprofit status, currently funded almost entirely by the survivor community itself.

If you need help leaving a spiritually or otherwise abusive church community – or if you have left but need support on the other side – you can reach out directly. Use the button below and choose “Survivor support” from the drop-down menu.